7.11.2008

What Its Like

 

You taste what hovers

And accept that collapse

Is the last stage of a snake wrap throat.

Seeing goodbyes,

As fists up.

 

Panic strips your stripes,

And you wonder if they notice,

If they can help you,

And you realize that you’ll die alone

Because no one can.

 

So you’ll wonder if you mattered,

If people’d have time

Past the flowers and the funeral

Or if they’d even make the trip at all.

 

Your brain wants to swallow

So you fight

And you guess giant breaths

Because you heard somewhere

They devour stress.

 

But you can’t keep em steady

When you’re body keeps darting

Igniting nerves in lonely muscles

Where it knows you’ll focus

On what you’ll see as not normal.

 

you think you’re going down

on an Unlucky heart

If you don’t pay attention to living

And fighting for a pump.

 

Sometimes you know you’ll be okay

Because you’ve lived the symptoms

And this time felt the same.

But there you are holding the phone

Ready for a quick 911 before you fall

 

But if you sit before a doctor

You’ll hear, “attack”

And “you’ll be fine”

Then you feel like a fool

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