Addict

I remain partial

Unfettered and unbelieving

In a truth born wisdom.

I haven’t met the gatekeepers

And that guy on the street yelling

Is just another sad song for the notebook

 

I walk past unopened

Still smiling

Selling my cleaned up calling card

As my eyes focus

Beyond yours

Wavering till I lose interest

 

People see me crumble

And as uneven as I feel

I throw down advice

I see as sage like on every ear near me

I hardly feel blessed

When I seem so selfish

 

I see my feelings

As unfollowed and all believing

And I’m growing tired of

Walking through bar doors

To pretend that this

room isn’t shrinking

 

I feel without meaning

among life’s sculptures.

There’s some truth!

Now where’s the wisdom?

I’ll listen

I just can’t

Refresh my vision

Past old habits

And my vices seem to be breaking me open

With none of the relief I hoped to find.

 

My drug became sadness

And she doesn’t help either.

So I suck in miss sadness

and puke out her words.