Bored

He felt bored and wished someone would fix it.

The beach sounded better,

A little house with seashells and lapping waves,

That’s a fix for a moment...

But where’s the money and who is gonna give it

He thought this and wondered if the girl next door

Wanted to come and hide for awhile

The vagueness of his existence

Worried him and made him peer over his text

With reckless abandon, hoping for an answer.

 

But in it he just felt alone,

And unwanted,

And scared,

And no one understood.

 

When they did he guessed he couldn’t connect

The dots between them or be big enough

To take the chance in the first place.

Every night he was in the music

Leaning forward in his chair

He became depressed,

He lied to himself,

Stayed depressed and felt alone.

When someone said how bout something else

He said I don’t know how to get there.

 

He couldn’t get the courage.

He didn’t want to pay for his soul.

He didn’t want help.

He stayed alone.

 

When this is how it is

How does it change?

It could change

Somewhere there’s a change waiting

He wants to snap it up

But then he lays his head back down

And lets his vision get blurry

 

Maybe its time to sleep

Maybe he’s drinking too much

Maybe he says maybe cuz he doesn’t want to do anything but pout

 

He wants the girl but doesn’t know the steps

He never places himself out there

He becomes repressed

And looks to explode without survival

He wants this new him to die

And the old one to surface

And become a man worth his time.